A career in sales is like choosing to jump into a black hole….

I have been in sales for the past thirteen years, I happily jumped without looking as a young ambitious fresh media graduate, little did I know it was a decision I would live to regret and still living that regret!

Agencies are clever, they lure in fresh graduates and sell a glamorous lifestyle and a never ending pot of commission….unless you enjoy forever being micro managed, always happy to answer on each and every activity you complete and have kpi's on number of calls, number of leads, number of sales, the duration of your calls and any other nonsense managers want to measure you on!

Now this might be fine if you can naturally sell ice to an Eskimo or work for Google! But in the real world it's bloody tough! I've been told I'm great at it but doesn't mean I enjoy it.

You are only as good as your last month, you are always repeating every call every conversation every move you make is repetitive month after month. You can be the best in negotiating, researching leads, presentations, meetings etc but! If the person on the other end of the phone doesn't do their job it's all for nothing. You cannot make someone else do their job you can only do yours to the best of your abilities.

Now here's the kicker! Sales requires a lot of skills! But other than the sales industry you just cannot open people to grasp the transferable skills you have. Yes sell yourself on your CV but without studying further which I am now doing, and without taking a masssssivvvveee pay cut I know I am finding it futile.

There really is a gap in the recruitment industry for an agency that focuses on sales people who want a career change.

I've job hopped so much because my ambition in sales pushed me to get to the top quickly, but upon reflection I'm sure it is also because I got bored quickly, I hated not having something to sink my teeth into, hate having my hard work to only be judged on daily activity numbers.

I hate sales ….the end.


Too many ideas and no actions makes it just that….an idea.

I am at work, sitting at my desk in a silent office. This is meant to be a sales office yet you can hear a pin drop….unless I am on the phone. Why did I do it, why did I get into sales? That my friends is a whole other story which I share with you.

Any how, considering I am writing my blog instead of doing my work clearly! this isn’t the right place for me to be, working is difficult if you don’t like what you do! so lately I have been researching and thinking of what I could for myself. I use to read papers on my commute, I had a social life and a lot of people around me when I lived in London. It made it easier to be inspired and find potential gaps in the market, just random ideas that could materialise into something, but while my social circle disappeared and routines kicked in I found myself being less and less creative.

I guess another reason for my lack of thinking of ideas is that the realist in me woke up, since I have been 16 and got my first Saturday job for £2 an hour I never really valued money, I would always splash it all away as soon as I got paid…..it was all a waste, shopping whilst fun is truly a waste of money and I guess reflecting back it was the foundation of my downfall in reaching my goals in life. No amount of new clothes can make up for the fact that the debt I got into by not valuing money restricted any move or choice I wanted to make.

Since childhood I always! wanted to have my own business, with that came my creative mind to spot opportunities, mixed in with the anchor of debt and my monthly salary getting eaten up by my over draft and monthly payments. I know for a fact that with what should have been disposable income I should and would have had  something successfully set up…but I don’t.

I had ideas similar to Uber ten years ago, I had lingerie ideas which I still haven’t seen in the market, I had dessert ideas fifteen years ago, I had fashion ideas for the Indian Boutique market which I did a brilliant business plan for, but for some reason or another nothing ever materialised….well one main reason…lack of funds and the second main reason analysis paralysis. Now this is a new concept for  me, I thought it was just me. My pattern is, I get an idea, I research and research and research and analyse and write, draw which leads me to think think think and then bam! I hit a wall, I have taken in so m much information and seen the bigger picture of the amount of big and small things I need to do that I go blank and it sits in my book as another idea which someone else will actually action and complete!

My brain literally hasn’t stopped thinking recently of what I can do now, what can I do whilst I keep this sales job that I hate so much. I am currently looking into subscription box services and whilst it is so saturated I want to see if I can actually follow through with one of my ideas.

I can’t help but ask myself, I am 34 still got debts! now have a mortgage and plan on having a family in the next couple of years….have I missed  my boat? It’s not as simple as when I was single, now I have many more commitments. My fear is, these questions and negative thoughts will drag me down and continue to stunt any progress into the self employed business world.

What truly sucks is that I know somewhere deep inside me that I was made to do something more! I wasn’t made to sit here at a desk and make calls like a monkey to fill the pockets of others. I want the freedom to make my own decisions, to build my own empire. It’s easy to say just do it, because life doesn’t make it that easy. I wonder how many others who have great potential and dreams suffer from analysis paralysis and how they got over it, got over debts issues to still find success at the end.

If I was employed to come up with ideas I would be so successful! But I am not, and sadly all my ideas remain as ideas because I can’t and because I don’t take action. Don’t do what I have been doing, please value your earnings, live within your means and look continuously at the bigger picture of life, I surely didn’t. Which is why my dream if already having a stable business at the age of 34 will remain a dream.


My first blog … Putting pen to paper

I finally decided to get a blog, not for followers, not for readers, not for any other reason except to put pen to paper (figuratively of course) …..why? Well, as my choice of blog title shows I am a dreamer, a thinker and a very deep thinker, it can be a curse and a blessing all in one.

I find myself in a place in life where I am questioning many things, where I am trying to figure out my place and purpose in life. Thankfully I am not in this mind place because of any mishap or horrendous experience, in fact it is quite the opposite. I am very happy in my personal life, I have a husband that I have been married to very very happily for three years and going strong, I have a very relaxed life ….probably too relaxed because I have so much time on my hands that I have become numb and lazy…i have stuff to do but i have nothing to do on weekend.

This blog for me is a way to stop my head from overflowing with the stream of random thoughts and experiences, questions and the search for its answers. I am one to do a lot of research on stuff, my brain goes into over drive and there is only so much thinking anyone can do without feeling like your head is about to blow up!

I doubt anyone will be reading this blog, it is a stream of consciousness for me, perhaps if other like minded over thinkers might come across this blog, if so I would love to hear your thoughts on some of my random questions…have you been in the same place as I am? Have you had the same thoughts and questions as me? Did you find a solution? ….can you share it with me!

Ultimately, I guess the inner most hope is not that this blog becomes popular but it helps me find answers from others who are also looking for their answers. Sometimes it is reassuring just to read that someone else is questioning certain things in this world and in their life, maybe someone might read one of my posts and it will help them. You will find that my style of writing is random….because I don’t have a style, I have tried to set this blog up quickly so I don’t spend all my time making it look pretty and never actually write…I do that a lot! I have no style in writing, it’s a digital diary of randomness.

If you are reading this I hope you find some positive in it, even if it is entertaining reading for a couple of minutes, if no nobody reads this then that too is fine by me, so far typing this has been quite therapeutic for me….yes its my blog so its all about my feeling hehehe 🙂